Scripture

How’d did it go? The confessing to your wife? If you haven’t confessed this is your reminder to do so. Just sit her down and be serious. She will respect you for it. If you did confess this is probably the hardest part. It’s like running ten miles and feeling like throwing up, but later you feel really good. That really good part is coming later. For now man up and take responsibility for what  you did and start living a life that is free.

Proverbs 6:32

But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.

A free man doesn’t return to his vomit.

Confessing

Don’t turn away because of the title, I know you’re wanting to but this is where it starts to start to become good. Confessing is a difficult thing to do but it mentions it several times in the Bible. And I know you realize it’s important. I know that I struggled with the thought of confessing my addiction quite a bit.

It’s a very difficult thing to bring yourself to do. You will probably need the power of God to assist you on this one.  Once you do though, the power of confession is amazing. When I was struggling with my sin I couldn’t find anything that really could motivate me to change my ways until  I confessed it to my wife. And though she was hurt, she was extremely understanding. She knew that she wasn’t perfect either.  I explained how much I didn’t like what I did just as much as she didn’t – and that I wanted to stop.

It was amazing to see how beautiful my wife was when I confronted her with something that was so hurtful to her. She took it, and came to me for comfort, when I expected a fist. It initially brought out the worst in her, as expected, but when she calmed down, it brought out the best in her. She didn’t blow up at me, she felt my pain with me instead.

It was an awesome feeling, because I realized at that point, that I didn’t care for myself enough to understand why she would love me at all. And when she did, I was swept away with it. It was a very incredible and liberating feeling. I felt like I was real again.

“The truth shall set you free.” That couldn’t be more true. If you want to be free, you need to confess to your wife. It doesn’t matter if you can confess it to yourself at this point, it needs to be said out loud before you can change. Allow your marriage to become authentic, real and loving.

How your wife views porn…

I have no idea how your wife views porn. You’ll have to ask her. What are the chances of that? But seriously you should. When I told my wife I struggled with lust and looking at porn it was incredibly difficult, but man it was so worth it! Anyway, I’ve talked to my wife about porn and she has different thoughts on it than I would have originally assumed. I guess the biggest thing to her is the fact that she feels that I’ve traded her for porn when I’d do it. I don’t care who you are, that’s got to hurt. She also told me she felt like I had sex with another woman. “I have every bad emotion I could ever feel. I feel unrespected and unloved”. Wow! How could I keep doing that to her? How could I keep doing that to God? If nothing can help you stop from looking at porn, then find out from your wife how it makes her feel when you do it. If her pain doesn’t make you want to change your ways, live a different lifestyle, or even move to a different state, then I don’t know if anything will.  Do what it takes to keep from putting her through the pain it causes her every time you fail against the battles of lust.

Pic by Caucas’

Why?

Listening to Danny’s sermon on Sunday, and viewing the video clip that was played,  it  occurred to me that a there are endless reasons why porn should be stopped.

Some may be different for others, and some we may not even realize. I think it was well put in Fireproof; “[Parasites] grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money.  They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your wife, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t it will destroy you.”

If you can give some more reasons why to stop please comment them for your brothers to read as an encouragement and a reminder.

Thanks.

Welcome!

Welcome to he hates porn blog. Over the next few weeks, as the addiction series unfolds at Hutto Baptist Church, I will be posting various blurbs about porn, the addiction to it, how it can affect our marriages and our families, and what to do about it. I would like all comments and questions to remain anonymous so please use fake names for yourselves and for anyone you refer to in this blog. If you find out who I am, I would appreciate you not telling others.  I am not ashamed about writing this blog but would like to keep people nameless throughout this blog for the propriety of all peoples. Thank you.

You’ve made a significant step towards being a man living life to the fullest simply by coming to this blog. Avoiding porn and escaping its hold on you is extemely liberating and it frees you to live more abundantly. I hope and pray that this blog will help any man to come face to face with his addiction to porn, understand the impact that it can have on his wife and why, encourage him to have the ability to confess this to his wife and how to approach the confession, and help him to stop looking at porn, period.

P.S. I will have quite a few typographical and grammatical errors throughout this blog because I’m a guy. Please excuse this. Thanks.